The voice of truth speaks in the stillness of the soul. Healing is not pleasant! And yet the willingness to be present is the desire to trust the process.
On a collective of consciousness, we are all healing from the traumas of last year’s upheaval to our nervous systems. It takes great energy to heal and we are all doing our best to nourish our deeper selves. As we open up YAF for in-person classes at the studio, it has been a challenge.
Our daily routine of staying home is now asking us to make more effort to get out of our physical homes. That basic doing takes a renewed sense of how we direct our individual time and space. It is not easy to change the habits we cultivated during covid and life is never going to go backward. We are not returning to what we think of as “normal”. Covid has shifted our entire landscape of familiarity.
I broke my hand and with it the acceptance that I must heal. I gave myself permission to “drop the ball”. Life is a juggling act of roles and responsibilities. When one thing shifts, it allows us the opportunity to reevaluate our inner consciousness and to reflect on our learned habits.
My habit is to do more, not less. My enjoyment came from the rush of taking on life as one big gusto of living. My yoga practice is in preparation for my life to be lived honestly and with attention to my inner light. Service is my highest calling and to share the love of humanity through being present. What a ride Covid has been in giving me a purpose of maintaining community and being able to hold space for others.
Now, I am witnessing my deeper need to hold space for my own physical recovery and let myself be still. It is not comfortable to admit the vulnerability and the sorrow of letting go. However, my entire inner voice is saying I must. So last month, I went and sat on a beach. I didn’t return emails, texts, or phone calls. I didn’t cook any meals and instead, I accepted and enjoyed the sweet meals that friends provided me. I accepted help and sat in my discomfort. I sat in my constant discomfort and yet welcomed profound compassion for the process of healing. I was off-balance just as Mother Earth is struggling to regain a sense of stability as she wobbles in her revolution around the sun.
As we are given permission to return to “normal”, I question how is that possible? How do we return when we are still healing from all the trauma of the past few years. We are being asked to get back into doing too much again when collectively we must honor the healing for our emotional recovery. When I’m tired, overwhelmed, and confused, I am reactive to my surroundings. I am prone to make decisions based on emotional memory and present fatigue. I cannot be hasty in my healing process.
The grace of this time has been a renewed appreciation for the small little moments revealing that my hand is returning. I am slowly feeling more energized as the pain starts to lessen. I am blessed with an inward regeneration of my nervous system. Maybe this journey is a collective of humanity and we are all being asked to slow down, listen and practice acceptance.
My intention is to keep this healing as a steady graceful way to be reminded that my personal journey is a universal one. I am practicing now for all souls having to endure the painful experiences of living with grief.
This week has been particularly challenging from our local tornado to the horrors of the collapse of infrastructure of the building in Miami. The collective heartbreak around the world. We are all being asked to transform. Deep cellular healing is hard, we all want to avoid and distract and numb. But we are greater and more courageous, and together we are moving into a profound transformation of the soul.
Humanity is asking us to love more; not just do more. We are being asked to remove the barriers of our outer shell of hiding and be open to the vulnerability of our deeper core. We are all asked to sit in the discomfort and love more in our personal acceptance to listen. Listen to the inner voice not the outer chatter of our resistance.
I am willing to keep growing and that means shifting and letting go. My hand can’t cling to the old or hold on to the fear. I am slowly opening my hand up again and receiving what is being offered, the miracle of healing. Ahhh… letting in the love! My yoga practice has only gotten stronger. I might not be doing downward-facing dogs, but my commitment to pranayama and the more refined tools have been the blessings.
I am forever reminded yoga works when I create the space to listen. Yoga is not just asana. It is not just fitness of the body. It is healing for the soul!
With love and light,
Laura Jane