In this greater landscape of Covid-19, we are all experiencing a new frontier without any clear roadmap of how to proceed forward. The most difficult moment I have been presented with was on March 14 when I knew in my gut and in my heart that I had to close the doors on YAF.
For 22 years the studio has been a safe haven to study yoga, giving every individual a place to gather and to feel safe enough to let go of those daily tasks that exhaust, overwhelm and distract. It has always been my intention of offer a place for everyone to come together as friends. My role has been to meet and greet, to keep a foundation of integrity in the teachings, and to offer inclusive belonging.
Fear is a great enemy. In the early days of opening our center, people would be hesitant to walk in to what was a foreign landscape. Yoga in the Midwest in 1998 was still not a mainstream of the fitness industry. Some residents considered me a cult leader. I received letters filled with bias opinions that I was harming to Downers Grove.
As a teacher, I wanted to offer these healing tools to a small community, and I chose to make a lifestyle filled with a daily commitment to teach whoever just “dropped-in”. We always made it about the effort and not the outcome.
The teachings of yoga are based on service. The struggle that continues to rub against my soul is how to host a gathering of friends in love without being seen as a profit-driven machine of corporation business.
I have held onto a system of meet and greet. One walks into the center, and I feel the joy of each person’s effort to maneuver up those many stairs. I feel the heaviness of the old door, which at times I would find the doorknob falling off when the worn-out screws wouldn’t hold it in place.
The effort to maintain this beautiful 1910 building is filled with stories. Many of us remember the flooding from our leaky roof (as we practiced around the buckets), and the bathrooms not working, and no heat when the heating system failed.
Despite all these distractions and inconveniences, the wonder and awe of Yoga Among Friends is its consistent presence. The dedication of our teachers, who show up in snowstorms, heatwaves, blackouts, and life’s chaotic obstacles of uncertainty. We are a community. I never wanted to be out traveling, teaching, and having to leave home.
To be a yoga “business” in today’s world presents a constant struggle for a teacher to earn a living, while not succumbing to the devaluing of the integrity of the effort. It takes years of study to even feel confident enough to be a teacher. I am forever grateful to all the teachers that show up and keep learning each day to share their hearts.
Now this new journey is pushing me to go inward and see that I need to expand our walls. I need to create an even broader community by offering these teachings online. It was not my intention to ever maintain these virtual classes and yet in this moment, I have to create a stronger foundation for our students and our teachers.
The outcome of what is being presented is unknown. My sankalpa, or intention of vow, is that we will all return and give each other those much needed hugs. Yet today, we can only use the internet to say, “hello”. As I move forward, I am taking a long exhale, and sitting in deep reflection as I soul search and come upon the right action for today.
Maintaining our studio as a vibrant and thriving endeavor, we are all called to serve. No one is to be excluded and no one should ever feel they cannot come into our space. And yet, we must offer the teachings with a formal pay system in order to secure the financial stability of our teachers and cover the studio’s expenses.
So after hours of technical searching and creating with my brilliant and hardworking web designer, YAF will be offering unlimited zoom classesa at a special rate. Daily drop-in classes will also be available for a fee. This new system will start June 1.
